If success means getting a lot of Q's then I guess you can say we (Kiah, Keegs and me) are failures. If success means we continue to learn and grow then we are becoming more successful all the time.
Each person's measurement of success will be different. I have learned a lot from one of my instructors about mental attitude, setting obtainable goals and keeping a positive attitude. She turned me on to Lanny Bassham's "With Winning in Mind" a set of CD's that give you a program to a positive mental management system. I have been listening to these CD's a lot lately, it makes me think about how negative attitudes, negative comments I make about my performances or setting goals too high can spiral into continued failures which then become the norm.
When I am complimented on a run, even though I am pleased at the compliment I have a tendency to mention what went wrong rather than just saying thank you. What I am doing is reinforcing negatives rather then celebrate the positives. I do compliement others on their runs and plan to do it more often which will build a positive attitude in myself and hopefully others.
Lately my goal has been to relearn how to have fun with my dogs (and them with me), not to take agility, obedience or rally so seriously and to celebrate the very small successes. Slowly but surely this is beginning to happen; I am more excited about going to trials and enjoying myself more while I am there. If we never Q, but have a blast working as a team I will consider myself the most successful handler there. If in the process we do get a Q, it will be icing on the cake.
I am a great handler who has fun with her dogs, brings out the best in them while they have fun. That is like me! (a part of a directive affirmation statement....).
YES! My thoughts too... it's the fun that we have together that is the real success. Love the pictures of your dogs, not many Boxers doing agility where I am. :)
ReplyDeleteI do that same thing with compliments. I'm working on an intermediate step where I manage to praise the dog instead. One of these days I'll be able to just say "thanks"!
ReplyDeleteI think it's in our nature to point out what went wrong when someone compliments us. We always know what didnt go quite as planned but you are right - we need to be able to just say Thank You with a smile! With the right attitude, you can have many successes throughout the agility day without any Q's, though if you go too long with no Q's, that will also get old!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I take being positive with others a step further, depending on my relationship with them. For someone who I know is nervous, I will talk positively to them before they compete and do what I can to steer them away from mentioning the negative. Then when they exit the ring, I'll compliment something and ask them what they *liked* about their performance. And, though I recognize what I need to work on and welcome help, I try to steer others away from lamenting what went wrong for me, too. If nothing else, it makes for much more enjoyable ringside conversations!
ReplyDeleteoh wow.. your thoughts are so what I'm working on! Lenny's book turned my thinking around, I keep it on my bedside stand…since you mentioned the cds I''m going to get those. Enjoyed your blog very much.
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